You just made me feel so damn special
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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