Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
this hospital has no fireball
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
