your thong is hanging out like whoa
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
The air taste purple.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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