I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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