Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
