his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
