There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
