Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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