Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
