what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
