can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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