stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
