she woke up with a sticky ear
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
