You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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