Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I made him laugh his dick is mine
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
