I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
