You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
