i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Are my feet made of real feet?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
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