I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
