Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
