quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
