she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
