My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
