if you like me you must not know who I am
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
