why didn't you poke me back
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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