so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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