my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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