Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
and she was petting her beer can
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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