Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize