I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
