took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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