$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
