Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We left the knife in your bed.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I love you. Go after that dick
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
