Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
