her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
