yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
