That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
