Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
