that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
