dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
