tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
