no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
