Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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