Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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