he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize