If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
don't judge my taste in strippers
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
