problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
