She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
