sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
