he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
