I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize