Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
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