that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
