Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just googled if crying burns calories
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
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