that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
