I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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