I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
