one two three fourrrrnication!
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
