I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
