Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
