I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
