I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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