I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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