Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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