I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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