just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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