Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
