they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
you never un-have a 4some
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
